Tom's Story
From Bondage to Breakthrough—A Life Redeemed by Jesus
I was raised in a godly home with an incredible mother and father who loved the Lord and modeled what it meant to live a life of faith. I attended a strong Christian school and was surrounded by a loving church community, caring teachers, and a pastor who poured truth into us. I had every opportunity to walk in light and truth.
But at 12 years old, I started listening to ungodly music—and shortly after, I was exposed to pornography. That combination opened a dark door that introduced me to guilt, shame, and confusion I didn’t know how to handle.
My Story
The root of my issues was hardening my heart. When I felt hurt or rejected, I turned to music and pornography to make me feel better. This was the source of all the sin and destruction that would follow in my life.
It started with weed and cigarettes, then escalated to alcohol, cocaine, meth, and a variety of other drugs. By 18 years old, I was lost in alcohol, drugs, and sex addiction. But at 22, I cried out to God. I surrendered and asked for His help. And in just a few months, He delivered me. The chains were broken, and for several years I walked in victory—sober, clean, passionate, and on fire for God. I got married at 25 years old to my wonderful wife, and shortly after we were married, I was asked to be the youth Pastor at our church. We enjoyed being the youth leaders and had a positive impact for many years. However, I slowly fell back into old patterns. I started looking at pornography again, listening to ungodly music, and watching shows and movies that were far from clean. This time, the guilt was a thousand times heavier—because I knew what it would do to my wife if she ever found out. And sure enough, she did. It crushed her. I was full of shame. I stepped down as a youth pastor and threw myself into work, chasing money, success, and material things. But the struggle never left. It was stop, start, stop, start. The same cycle—guilt, shame, lies, isolation.
At 31, I started drinking again. Just a little at first. Then it became daily. Then came my first affair. The weight of it all was unbearable. I was convinced it meant the end of my marriage, so I hid it. I lied. I kept up the image, but my soul was rotting. Then came steroids. Then cocaine. Then multiple affairs. I was spiraling. I was functioning outwardly but dying inside.
I couldn’t take it anymore. 10 years later, I finally told my wife everything.
After confessing, I checked myself into a 30-day rehab program. I came out with a sense of hope, thinking I was done forever. And I was—for about 8 months. Then I started drinking again. But deep down, I knew the root issue had never been fully dealt with. Pornography, music, and the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life had deep roots. I tried to hide it again—but eventually, my wife found out. This time, it was bad. I was high and drunk every day, stuck in multiple affairs, and living a total mess. I started having suicidal thoughts. I knew divorce was inevitable. I was convinced I’d either die from a drunk driving accident or an overdose.
The fear of coming clean again was suffocating. I could barely breathe. Yet all I could do was continue to destroy my body with drugs and alcohol and chase lust, trying to numb the pain I was too afraid to face.
In December of 2021, my wife told me she had contacted an attorney and would be filing for divorce.
That broke me.
I begged her for one last chance. That same week, I checked into a rehab program again—this time outpatient, but strict. I wrote a check for $10,000 and never missed a single class. Three days a week for three months. I did all the homework, took notes like my life depended on it—because it did. I went to two Celebrate Recovery and AA meetings each week. I paid for weekly professional counseling. I went to church twice a week. I bought hundreds of books and Bibles. I hired multiple coaches. I invested thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours to go after the deep healing I knew I needed.
And God met me there.
Through that process, I was able to trace everything back to the root of my issues…I had a HEART problem. Instead of turning to God and the Bible….I turned to music, pornography, alcohol, drugs, and Anger. A lack of discipline that led to self-hatred, because I wasn’t being the man I knew God had called me to be. I wasn’t living up to who I could be, and that disappointment fueled everything else.
But now- since 12-12-21, by the grace of God—I walk in consistent daily victory. I’m not perfect, but I’m healed, I’m free, and I’m whole. And I am on a mission.
God is so good. What the enemy meant for evil, God has used for good.
Today, I help other men find freedom. I’ve developed a coaching program called THE BLUEPRINT—a proven step-by-step process that is guaranteed to work when followed. I believe with all my heart that once a man learns how to read, understand, and follow THE BLUEPRINT, it works every single time. Because it’s rooted in truth, accountability, and the power of God.
My wife Lana and I, along with our three wonderful kids, moved to Dallas, Texas to pursue full-time ministry and help others walk into freedom. I exist now to fear God, obey His commands, and help men experience recovery, discovery, and transformation through ACTION.
My wife is a licensed counselor and is helping women all over the world to find help they need in areas of betrayal. She also teaches Temperament Therapy, which is amazing and helps in so many areas of life. (Career, relationships, marriage, purpose).
Together, my wife and I have a ministry to help married couples find hope & healing. We host marriage intensives, marriage mediation, and coaching.
A few amazing revelations that God gave me at the right time in my healing process, I thought I would share with you.
Ecclesiastes 12:13 says, “Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.”
To take away my shame, God gave me these verses…
“And I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who hath enabled me, for that he counted me faithful, putting me into the ministry; who was before a blasphemer, and a persecutor, and injurious: but I obtained mercy, because I did it ignorantly in unbelief. And the grace of our Lord was exceeding abundant with faith and love which is in Christ Jesus. This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief. Howbeit for this cause I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might shew forth all longsuffering, for a PATTERN to them which should hereafter believe on him to life everlasting. Now unto the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only wise God, be honour and glory for ever and ever. Amen.”
1 Timothy 1:12-17 KJV
One of my favorite verses in the Bible is…
“And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.”
Revelation 12:11 KJV
This is my testimony. This is my calling. And this is just the beginning. Let’s GO JESUS!!!
